I Chew, Chew, Chews You, Valentine!

FUN FACT: Did you know that if Saint Valentine was alive today he’d be a ZOMBIE!? True!*

I’m a romantic. I’m sure that comes as no surprise based on my body of classically inspired romantic art-styled works. And yet I feel it necessary to confess to you all, as the greatest of all Hallmark holidays approaches – so that you may all be encouraged to stand up and confess your unhealthy infatuation with those who you stalk from afar.**

So, with that said – in honor of the 1,517th Valentine’s Day, and cheap bastards everywhere, I present to you a gift from mine own hands – NAY! From my hearty place! … use it wisely!

Click Here to download a DIY customizable*** PDF of what is surely to become a Valentine’s Day classic for DECADES to come.

*Well, at least it’s a safe assumption considering the fact that he died over a thousand years ago.
**People on the internet ‘stalk’ people, right? I’m pretty sure this is a fact now – feel free to email and contest, but I’m pretty sure you’re wrong, you sick pathetic ‘stalker’

***Some assembly required. And computery knowledge.